Winston Smith was one of the few people who dared to attempt to rebel against the government. His need for companionship “He felt as though he were wandering in the forests of the sea bottom, lost in a monstrous world where he himself was the monster. He was alone” (page 28), and hatred for the Party “DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER” (page 20), drove him to commit his first act of rebellion, writing in his journal. Thereafter, he continued to rebel in other ways, like falling in love, having an affair, and recklessly defying the government in small actions, mainly because he knew he would eventually be captured, so he might as well go all out. “He was already dead, he reflected… Now that he recognized himself as a dead man, it became important to stay …show more content…
This quote shows that Winston has always felt guilty of his mother’s death as if he had been the reason she was killed. In other instances in the book it is almost like she is haunting his conscience, constantly appearing in his dreams, “Winston was dreaming of his mother” (page 31). This might be another reason why he was so determined to oppose, an obsession with wanting to avenge his mother. Winston fought hard against the government because he desperately craves to feel real emotion, he wants to experience love, to live knowing he accomplished something, despite knowing deep down the party would not allow accomplishments to survive, as they could erase him from history in the blink of an eye. “‘Does he [Big Brother] exist in the same way I exist?’ / ‘You do not exist,’ said O’Brien” (page 272). Of course, his recklessness was his downfall, as both he and Julia got caught in his rented apartment and realised that they were never indeed alone, as there was a camera hidden in that room as well, with which Big Brother had used to spy on their love, enforcing the message that Big Brother was indeed watching