Maybe I should give an explanation for my behavior. I know that for you is hard to understand me with thousands of my moods and whims ... but that's me. That’s how I feel and I have no excuse for that. Everything came up with this kind of group we have. Recently, I do not feel part of it. If there is someone who is redundant - it's me. In absolutely every aspect.. I do not fit there. All you have fine without me. Somehow, I’m completely unsuitable for her. After birthdays of Alice and Tedi- then I start to felt so. I’m not belong to you. With absolutely nothing to contribute to it ..with or without me .. all the same. Separately, I spoke a lot with Karin and I realized how I lost MY people. My company. My friends. Yes life goes in a different …show more content…
well to give him name “ my jealousy”. I told you about it, but now I'll explain in what it consist. I’m jealous of Maggie or sometimes Alice or Trayana, but now I will pay attention to Maggie. Actually I’m very glad that you are friends. It is really nice that you find something in common, and she is very good friend. My problem here is-appreciation. I've told you before that I have problems with that. Well, see, sometimes I see how you appreciate her more and you show it. Not for the first time it made an impression to me, but now uploading these images, and these descriptions and comments. I do not know, I felt in that way. Sometimes you say very nice things and I feel that you care, but sometimes I'm not at all certain. And seeing that you do these things to other people, that's what I am jealous. Maggie and I , we never had such problem-just jealous you. This is because she shows me that she care about me-and more she makes me feel it. So this "jealousy" is directed only to you. I know my problem is childish, but I need to know that people appreciate me. Or rather, they care about me. I'm capable of love and feelings, and pretty much keep to my friends, but because of too trusting in my childhood and other problems with this- this need arose in me. I do not want to make excuses for her, because that's the way I feel, whether I like it or not. And when you can not give me this- then I should look elsewhere to find it. I still love you so much