A lot’s been happening in the last few days, what with the whole mysteriously caused amnesia and all. Here’s what happened the last few weeks, according to my friend. So, I had won this sweepstakes, right? That’s cool and all, but the thing is, it was for a chance to have a plane all to yourself and a friend for 3 days. Why was this a problem, you ask? I hate flying. I told my friend I was just gonna give it away, but she persuaded me to go. Let’s introduce her, her name’s Addie, and she’s not at all how I’m gonna write her, but ignore that. “But bro, Paris,” She insisted. I eventually agreed, because how else am I gonna progress the storyline?
So we get to the airport where the guy who had initially asked me if I wanted to go to “travel the world for a small price,” he was really persuasive, what did you want me to do? Anyways, so we got there and were told the pilot they had planned to take us was having issues, something about “being a dirty little snitch”, so they had gotten a volunteer pilot from the streets (I thought the term “off the streets” was just a figure of speech). He seemed
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The entire trip before this point had been nice. We had almost fallen off of the Eiffel Tower, very nearly burnt down the Rijksmuseum (European art museum), and came notably close to toppling the Parthenon, not all necessarily at the fault of Samuel, who had revealed that he was a mental asylum escapee after a drunken night in an interactive beer museum in Holland. And through all of this, we had taken Guppy with us everywhere. No matter if we had to hide him in our mouths, which we had gotten used to after a while, he went everywhere. We mostly took Guppy places to please Samuel, who had made it very evident that he didn’t fear death at all. We knew this because he had a falling out with the mannequin that sat in the passenger seat whose name tag read “Fred” and nearly kamikaze’d us into Niagara