The script presents with an intriguing premise about good-hearted werewolves, who take on the role of protecting humans from evil werewolves. The concept has merit. Scripts about werewolves remain popular, but to be successful the script needs to offer the audience something new and original as a hook. The idea of them being “the protectors” feels a solid hook. With that said, the script would benefit from more development in the area of structure, pace, tension, character development, as well as dialogue. The opening sets up the world of werewolves. The ordinary world is established and Troy is clearly identified as the protagonist. Initially, the goal is clear and the stakes are fairly high. However, as the story progresses the structure …show more content…
Ray is the most conflicted about his identity, but he shows up late in the script, then a lot of time is spent with him at the end, only to see him die. This doesn’t feel satisfying either. One reason the characters feel a bit one-dimensional and without depth is because of the dialogue. Powerful dialogue will help create more interesting characters. Presently, the dialogue sounds generic and on the nose. Most of the characters tend to have the same voice and speak straightforward with what’s on their minds. Try to add subtext Avoid obvious exposition. Avoid conversational chatting. Here are a few examples of weaker dialogue: “You’re going to be fine. What’s your name?” “Thank you. That sounds fine.” Avoid sounding redundant. Sloan one moment says, he wants Troy examined and then a few moments later he repeats this, “We’ve got to examine him…” Barbara telling Troy she loves him is another example of on the nose dialogue and a bit overly dramatic. Try to make the voices sound more distinctive from each other. For example, several different characters use the term “criminal” in the script. Change this up. A cop would say things like “perp” or they would use a derogatory