The concept of this fantasy, fish out of water, coming of age story is excellent. It’s so much fun to see a troubled teen from 2015 transported back in time to 1935. The story is driven by strong themes about finding one’s voice and believing in one’s self. It’s also about connecting and family values.
The plot is driven by a very likable teen, Ava, who through the course of her journey, learns to grow up and transforms into a mature woman, who finds her own voice. Ava is driven by deep inner conflict and her need for a loving family.
The script offers a three-act structure. There’s a solid inciting event when she tries the dress on and is transported into her new world. There’s also a decisive first act break when she realizes the only way she can get back home is to wear the dress.
The goal is clear
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There needs to be more urgency in finding a way home and in designing the dress for the Princess.
The other subplot involves the romance. Unfortunately, this needs more development. The idea that Eva likes a boy in 2015 is a good story choice. However, don’t make this easy too. Make it difficult for her to talk to the boy in 2015. Even if she seems hip in 2015, she has inner conflict about the boy she likes because she doesn’t believe in herself.
In 1935, there might be a guy who likes her and he helps her see how special she is and she learns about relationships. Abigale also helps her with this. Thus, when Ava returns to 2015, she has new self-esteem and isn’t afraid of getting into a relationship. She probably has a fear of abandonment and that’s one reason she doesn’t get close to people. Explore this.
As structured now, the idea of her returning to 2015 is too easy. Then the idea of her finding her grandfather in Wales doesn’t hold much tension. The idea that Guy finds her and professes his love for her (she’s only 18), doesn’t feel convincing due to her age and lack of chemistry between Ava and