Boundaries In Relationship

Introduction The nature of the human soul is one of an intricate perplexity. The true self of ones being bears the core of who we are and as expected, the natural inclination of this awareness is to protect these aspects of one’s self. Whether through unhealthy or healthy means of Fences, walls, barricades or a moat. In many situations persons fear the total desolation or destruction of one’s true self thus causing paradigms of defence and genuine facades. In this paper it will highlighted a few areas in the concept of boundaries in relationship

What are boundaries?

According to (Whitefield, 1993, p.1) “Boundary or limit is how far we can go with comfort in a relationship. It delineates where I and my physical and psychological space end

According to (Whitefield, 1993, p.3) “the actively co-dependent person tends to be fixed in either few or no boundaries, boundarylessness, or the opposite, overly rigid boundaries. And they often flip-flop between these. Because they focus so much of their attention outside of themselves”. He goes on to say “they tend to be less aware of their inner life, and thus less aware of their

However there are a few areas of my life where I did hold secrete, due to the experiences I have dealt with, that of domestic violence. I shy away from conflict and physical fighting. I thought I made that clear in my friendship at the time but it seems I was not clear enough. My best friend at the time did not respect my boundary of no physical fighting and proceed to hit me. I declined to return the blow and walked out. It was hurtful and painful that she did not honour my request, I was disappointed in myself that I did not stop the situation and its progressive pace.

However as I become more aware of my lack thereof, I am slowing putting and keeping to my boundaries. I have decided to set aside time for myself and start considering my needs as important too. Certain people are finding ways to respect my new found rules, even with my ex roommate I respect my space and I have asked that it is respected. When I am having my alone time, she tries to respect these guidelines. I still struggle sometimes but clearly see improvements in these aspect of my