When we were younger, all we ever wanted was to be a ‘big kid’. We wanted to be able to do things by ourselves and have independence and freedom from our parents. In J.D Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, protagonist Holden Caulfield finally had this ‘freedom’. But was it what he wanted? He was expected to act like an adult though he was still considered a child. Inside, Holden was struggling with the conflict of reluctance to become and adult because he thought it meant leaving behind his brother. He was pushing aside the fact that people change, and that change was not always a bad thing. On July 18, 1946 Holden’s brother Allie died of leukemia, and he never got over it. “I slept in the garage the night he died, and I broke all the goddamn windows with my fist, just for the hell of it”(Salinger 44). Holden seemed to be very fond of every aspect of his brother Allie. From his red hair, to his intelligence, to his kind personality. Allie seemed to be everything Holden was not. “He was two years younger than I was, but he was about fifty times as intelligent. He was terrifically intelligent”(43). Holden was jealous of Allie, even if he didn’t realize it. He was jealous that Allie never had to go through the pain of growing up.When Straddler asked him to compose a paper for him, the first thing that came to his mind to write about was Allie. He also thought about Allie all the time, particularly when he was nervous or facing unwanted change. Holden couldn’t let go and