Characterization In Oceanview

What did you like about this script?

I like that the writer has developed good characterization for the elderly men sitting in the common area of the apartment complex. We get to see a variety of old humor, some slapstick one-liners, and a wide-range of unfiltered, offbeat wit. The story and the characters also offer a kind of extended, family community, which makes the characters even more relatable.

With the distinctive running gag of Jeremy trying to track down Ruth throughout the script, the writer breaks down what a seemingly average day at the Oceanview apartment complex might look like. At times, it seems as though Jeremy acts as a ringleader for all of the elderly tenants whom kind of emulate adoptive grandparents in their scenes,

What do you think needs work?

I think the main areas in this script that need more work are Ruth 's characterization and the overall format. With each character, we learn a bit more about Ruth 's personality and her character via those who live in the building, outside of the teaser.

From the pieced together impression, it is clear that Ruth 's character is demanding, rude and not a very sociable woman. However, when the writer finally has Ruth with a full scene of dialogue, the abrasive nature of her character and disdain for just about everything makes it seem as though her character is mean for no real reason.

Ruth 's character comes across as the male version of Walter because they each share such a sharp, judgmental, and cranky outlook on life. Yet, the writer offers Walter’s character a depth, which makes his comments seem more natural. Truthfully, I found it odd that the two were not friends in the

Could the reason behind Ruth 's hostility with Jeremy and the surfers’ stem from a child or a grandchild that has neglected her? Scorned her or perhaps forgotten about her?

Does Jeremy 's character specifically remind her of said person so much, that she is unconsciously compelled to constantly berate him? Why does Jeremy 's character spend the entire day going around the entire building searching for Ruth if he dislikes her just as much as the others?

In each scene, he directs the characters to pass along the message to Ruth if they see her, so why not call it a day when he can’t locate her?

I suggest the writer establish and incorporate the root of Jeremy and Ruth 's odd relationship throughout the script to give depth and relatability to these two characters.

Lastly, I think the writer should be mindful of the formatting for the scenes, slug lines and incorporating the time of day, as well as giving proper scene descriptions for each new location.

As it is now, the script reads like a stage play, which are character-driven and dialogue heavy with minimal-to-no scene change or shifts in location. I would suggest the writer incorporate small details in the description lines to give a better overall visual imprint of