Solo catches the note of throttled emotion in Luke’s voice, but with it, Luke had given away so much more. Clinging desperately to the decisions he’d come to, the reality of their lives now, and the mark of an ever-stretching distance he knows they can hardly bear, Han drives all the confidence he can to summon a tremulous exhalation, then drops his gaze to the floor, offering nothing but a clipped nod of unwelcome acceptance. ❝It wouldn’t have been easy. … But I would’ve,❞ Han amends a little too quickly, averting his gaze because now the tides have turned in Luke’s favor and Han instantly yearns for a place far, far from here, with an abundance of distractions that’d save his skin and could keep nasty subjects at bay. Normally, he'd be better at this. Except when Luke looks at him like that, what thoughts and his general ability to speak are suddenly at odds like he is GUILTY of it—like what all said had been nothing but LIES, cultured to mitigate the pain everyone knows Luke has been enduring, be it to spite him for a greater, future hurt, Han doesn't know. Doesn’t want to think about it. Doesn’t want to spend the time needed to sort through all the possibilities because—SHAVIT—the force … it isn’t something he’s comfortable …show more content…
Han even aches to look up and examine it for himself now that it’s quiet again. Craves to relish the regret and heartbreak he’s imagined in Luke’s eyes, see that Luke’s acknowledged it too, that there’s so much more between them than they let