Domestic violence may begin with emotional and verbal abuse and progress to physical violence and sometimes even to murder and murder-suicide, often involving the whole family.
When I think about domestic violence involving a wife and mother, I often wonder as many people do, why she did not just leave? Rather than seeking to understand the victim’s circumstances and reasons for not leaving, society often blames her. “Shaming the victim” was evident in a recent case in Florida when the victim failed to attend a court hearing regarding abuse by her husband and was sentenced to three days in jail by the judge in the case. The victim’s pleas for mercy as she explained her reasons for failure to appear were ignored by the judge. The victim
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A mother must also consider the safety of her children, as abusers may threaten to take them away from her. In extreme cases, the abuser threatens her life, as well as the lives of her children. There have been several news reports lately of terrible family tragedies concerning murder-suicide, involving the entire family. One father shot his three teenage children, then his wife while she was calling 911, and then turned the gun on himself. Another man drove his car with his wife and children inside into a reservoir. Whether the men involved were mentally ill or abusers, we may never know; however, any victim of domestic abuse who hears of these tragic events would realize that some men do carry out their horrific threats. The fear instilled in victims of domestic abuse is so overpowering that it leaves them incapable of escaping. There do not exist enough available real alternatives and solutions for the victim and her family to escape. Hot lines and safe shelters are not enough. In the Florida case, the abuser was sentenced to only 16 days in jail. Victims are reluctant to remove themselves from their situation and hope for a new life when they know their abuser may only be given a short prison sentence; and then he will be out and coming for