Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close Relationships

Paulina K. Sobanski

Mrs. Gerussi

ENG-2DP

May 9, 2023

Lack of Communication in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Oftentimes people struggle with communication and speaking up about past trauma and emotions. This emotional struggle is apparent with the relationships between characters in the novel, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, which is how Jonathan Safran Foer displays the importance of this motif. Throughout the novel, characters struggle with communication, either in relation to speaking or writing. The themes of family, loss and love expand on this concern. Lack of communication is evident through the relationship between Oskar's grandmother and grandfather, Oskar and his mother as well as his father. This lack of communication

As a result of this trauma Grandpa slowly lost his ability to speak and began communicating through writing in a daybook and the “YES” and “NO”(Foer 17) tattooed on his palms. Grandma deals with the loss of her sister by focusing on the future and refusing to talk about her trauma. Thomas didn’t want to talk about the past and neither did grandma which is why their relationship was purely out of convenience. In grandma's letters to Oskar she wrote, “I don’t know if I've ever loved your grandfather, but I've loved not being alone.”(Foer 309). Soon after they marry they establish a set of rules, to avoid recognizing their trauma, they create places around the apartment labeled “something” and “nothing.” “We took the blueprint of our apartment from the hallway closet and taped it to the inside of the front door, with an orange and a green marker we separated Something from Nothing. “This is Something,” we decided. “This is Nothing.” “Something.” “Nothing.” “Something.” “Nothing.” “Nothing.” “Nothing.” Everything was forever fixed, there would only be peace and happiness.” (Foer 111). For Thomas it was recognizing Anna's absence, for Grandma it was seeing herself as a comparison to her sister. This created problems in their relationship as “nothing” places slowly became “something" meaning they couldn’t escape the past. By the end of their relationship there was more “nothing” than “something" as they both became lost in this effort of creating absence. Their whole relationship is built on the basis of no communication, when Grandma becomes pregnant, breaking the no children rule, Grandpa leaves. This time Grandma follows him to the airport and convinces him to stay. By staying in the airport they live in between moving forwards and backwards. This ending is a reflection of their relationship as they refuse to face their problems and instead decide to stay for each