Guilt and shame are invisible forces that bind us to what if’s, and keeps us from pursuing life in a carefree manner. If we so feel that we are choosing the path that’s wrong for us even if it is what we believe is best, guilt will be there to pull us back into our place and shame will follow to remind us of our mistakes. Tim O’Brien, from the short story “On the Rainy River” by Tim O’Brien, essentially succumbs to the guilt he feels from attempting a flee to Canada in order to avoid the Vietnam War, and the consequence of feeling shame that arises from that.
Family often plays a significant role in the way we live our lives. It is not uncommon that even as grown adults we will revolve our own decisions based on the ones around us and how they would feel about our actions. Tim O’Brien envisions his father when he thinks about leaving and how disappointed he would be as he confesses what he chose to do. Although he almost crosses into Canada, it is evident that the ties to his father and how he would react influence his decision. O’Brien mentions losing
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Often if we give up, or fail to reach them we feel ashamed that we are not strong enough to overcome obstacles and we place blame on other aspects of our life to try and re-direct our own personal guilt. O’Brien was held back from leaving to Canada because of “all [the] eyes on [him], the town, the whole universe- and [he] couldn’t risk embarrassment.” He blames himself even many years later because he “was a coward” who “went to the war.” This demonstrates the guilt he places on himself because he gave in to his surroundings and the shame he feels that he couldn’t stand up for what he didn’t agree with, which was the war itself. Although he went to war because he of what the people in his town would think of him, he also didn’t want to live with himself knowing that the shadow of the war would follow him wherever he