Humorous Wedding Speech: I Anticipate In The Groom

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Hello roommate,
If you're reading this, congratulations on getting into Stanford! I'm excited to meet you, and I hope we become great friends. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask some questions to get to know with whom I'll be rooming.
What do you enjoy? I for one enjoy playing chess, particularly an unusual four-player variant known as bughouse. If you by chance know how to play bughouse, then let's try find two other people with whom to play. If not, I'd be happy to teach you how to play.
I also enjoy playing the international sport known as football, despite my lack of skill, but I hope to participate in intramural football in college. Do you play? Maybe we could even join the same team!
On the topic of football, I realize that when we meet,