The girls left the bathroom and I had tears forming in my eyes but, I couldn 't cry, I had broken the promise once and I wasn 't planning on breaking it again. I shut my eyes and let the darkness invade me as I repeated over and over again to myself, 'I am happy and I am strong. ' I waited until the little princesses in the bathroom left before I shut the bathroom door and locked it. Once I made sure that no one else was in here or nearby since they probably all went to classes by now, I decided I could let myself be the real me, just for a little bit, not have to force myself to have that smile on my face everyday and pretend everything is ok, because everything isn 't ok. My life is hell and my future is even worse. Maybe in the future I 'll meet the devil and he 'll take me to …show more content…
I grabbed my head in pain and winced at the contacts of my hands grabbing my scalp that i had been tugging on. I looked at my hands and found it filled with my hair strands all over them. It was scary, just the thought of everything that I had done made me tremble. Maybe this was the beginning of my future, maybe this was the way I transformed into the horrible human being, no horrid monster, that I had seen in my hallucination. Maybe his was my disgusting new beginning for my worthless new chapter of a life. I didn 't know what was happening to me. Why me? Why is this my life? There are 7 billion people on this planet and out of all them it had to be me. I had to suffer every single day of my life and pretend I was the sweet little girl who fit in and always smiled as I maybe was a long time ago, so long ago I don 't even remember. They were probably just some dreams by now, my latest memories were filled with horror and aspiration to fit in and make everybody else think I fit in, that I was fine and normal, that I belonged. I was so desperate for that need of belonging and it was just so