Judith Butler Beside Oneself

Times effect on relationships between people can only truly be understood when we examine how and why our relationships change over time. Through using Judith Butler’s Beside Oneself as a framework we gain an understanding of the significance time is capable of having on relationships between people. When using Beside Oneself as a framework I can conclude that the effect time has on relationships is often the result of many circumstances combined over a period of time. Through applying Butler’s idea of how time creates a dependence between people in a relationship that eventually causes a transformation of who we are. We are shown how vital time is in a relationship. After implementing Butler’s idea to my groupmates memoir and Interstellar

The effect mourning has on relationships between people is shown through Butler’s statement “Mourning has to do with agreeing to undergo a transformation the full result of which you cannot know in advance” (115). The statement “agreeing to undergo a transformation” used by Butler highlights how people have to agree to undergo a transformation after they experience mourning. This willingness to undergo a transformation shows that the effect time has on relationships can be changed when people realize a transformation must occur. Butler goes against the typical belief that mourning is experiencing emotions of deep sorrow for someone who has died, and instead states that mourning is agreeing to undergo a transformation. Butler states that mourning forces us to change as person thus showing how time effects relationships between people in this scenario. Butler’s purpose in using the word “agreeing” is used to show that we must accept that parts of our relationship that have ended because of time, and move towards the future of our relationship. Through examining Butler’s ideas I can conclude that time will eventually affect the all relationships, and people must realize that the change is not with another person that can still exist without them being present

This dependence is shown in Butler’s Beside Oneself when she frequently uses the word “we” to describe how we as humans are constantly vulnerable and dependent to one another. As Butler said “Consider the demands that are imposed upon us by living in a world of beings who are, by definition, physically dependent on one another, physically vulnerable to one another” (117). Our dependence to one another can be related to my groupmates memoir. In their memoir state how after their Nonnie had passed away, their dependence affected their relationship. They stated “I learned how to talk for myself, how to comfort myself, love myself”. When using Butler as a frame we learn how the dependence from which we have on another person from birth over time creates a relationship in which we are completely vulnerable to another person. From examining Butler and my groupmates memoir we are able to understand the dependence we have on one another during relationships. Through using Butler as a frame we understand the significance dependence has upon our society as our relationships are formed through one person being dependent upon another. We are also able to determine that when dependence no longer exists in a relationship it causes long lasting effects. These effects can be showcased during mourning when people are often unable to accept that their relationships have changed, and are