Mama In 'Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?'

Personal Growth: A Representation of One’s many Struggles Throughout life one exhibits growth as a person and this growth is achieved through trial and error. The adage, “You gotta hurt in order to know. Fall in order to grow. Lose in order to gain; because most of life's lessons are learned in pain.” can be applied to both Mama in “Everyday Use” by Alice Walker and Connie in “Where are You Going, Where Have You Been?” written by Joyce Carol Oates, but is more reflected in Mama’s life. This is demonstrated through Mama’s age in comparison to Connie’s, Mama’s tolerance of her daughter Dee’s egoistic behavior whereas Connie is the egoistic one, and Mama’s ability to be a better mother to Maggie now that she has realizes the error of her ways

One of her experiences include a “ fire that burned the other house to the ground” (Walker 611 ). Mama’s house burning down to the ground would cause her to start from zero and work her and her family up to having livable conditions. She rose above her situation, managing to eventually find a home for her and her daughters as well as even sending her eldest daughter to school. She also “falls” when she, for a brief moment, allows Dee to talk down to Maggie regarding a quilt made by their grandmother while Maggie informs Mama, “‘She can have them, Mama’ she said, like someone used to never winning anything”

Once Mama realizes that Maggie had always stuck by her side she, “Hugged Maggie to [herself] , then dragged [Maggie] on into the room, snatched the quilts out of Miss Wangero’s hands and dumped them into Maggie’s lap” (Walker 616). Mama was acting on her epiphany, she knew that Maggie should be cared for and protected from her sister because she was loyal to her mother, it was the least she could do. She begins to realize that she was holding onto a daughter that did not embrace her family and so she let her go and embraced the daughter who was there for her all along. Mama’s change can also be demonstrated when she notices, “Maggie [smile]… a real smile, not scared… the two of [them] sat there just enjoying, until it was time to go in the house” (Walker 616). She begins to notice positive aspects about Maggie and learns to enjoy her company. She does not pine over Dee because she knows that she did not really care for her family so it is not Mama’s loss but Dee’s. Connie however, when faced with a threatening man thinks, “I’m not going to see my mother again… I’m not going to sleep in my bed again” (Oates 463). Here is when she realizes that her mother is important to her because she is the first person she thought of when in this dangerous