Godmother
Before:
Oh boy, let me tell you about my Aunt Sarah. She’s my mom’s best friend, so I suppose she’s not exactly my Aunt. Even if she was related to me, she’s more like a second mom to me than an Aunt. She would make me yummy noodles, and let me play on her trampoline as long as I wanted too. To be completely honest, she probably should have taken better care of herself, but regardless of that, she always had enough energy to keep up with me and her own son on any given day.
Her smile could light up a room. Her green eyes sparkled with love and happiness every time I saw her. We would go thrift shopping almost every Saturday morning. Holding up a shirt to her front that she liked and shake her head.
“I’m getting a little too round
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Is this doctor Peterson? I’m calling regarding an appointment opening… Yes, i was wondering if you had any time slots this month. No No, it’s an emergency situation really. YES, thankyou thankyou. We’ll take it, we’ll be there,” my mom was basically screaming by the end of the call, she was jumping with joy.
There were many phone calls like this. Some to doctors around here, some even out of state. My mom was gonna put this treatment plan herself if she had to. Seriously you should have seen her, I’ve never seen someone so motivated. She made sure everyone who needed to know what was going on had all the information and took care of my family and my godmother’s family. I’m not religious, but I tell you I believe my mom is a Saint.
Summer:
Aunt Sarah was very sick. Her hair was thinning, she was tired and sore and had a lot of bruises. This one day I was on my way out the door, probably going to a friends house, or something else that really doesn’t matter, and my mom had asked me to bring her some cream for her bruises. I was in a hurry, but she only lived three blocks over so I did it. I knocked on her door and she opened it. “Hi Baby,” She whispered. I’ll never forget how she smiled so bright.
“Hello, Aunt Sarah,” and we spoke briefly; Probably just small talk. “I love you, mollycakes. See you
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For years, you will reach for it. For years, you are going to try to fill it with things that are not her, and you may even convince yourself it fits just fine, but it won’t. Even though you want her so bad to come back so you can be whole again, there will come a day where you no longer need it to be filled” I hear my therapist's words ring in my head. For years I will ponder them, I think I’m fine sometimes and sometimes I’m not. Of course, I will always miss her. But one day I will have that hole in my universe, and my world will start making sense again. Like I said, I’m not religious, but I pray to every star and every God in the sky that she is right. I have been grieving for 3 years, 5 months, 9 days. Some days I live in a cloud of despair and sadness, feeling guilty for not appreciating what I had before it was gone. But on those other days, on the very best other days, I’m grateful I had 15 years with