Personal Narrative Essay: My Depression And Depression

708 Words3 Pages

Kassandra Urquizo
Amie
Enlgis
Date
rought
It's All in my Head
I'm not sure when it started or when it exactly appeared. Maybe it's been there the whole time. I look back at my life and I catch glimpses of it. I should have seen it coming. I should have known something was wrong. It was the days I wish my mom accepted I just couldn't go to school. Or the day I begged myself to get up and do my homework, but just lied there cycling through my thoughts for hours. I never knew the reason I couldn't get through a morning. Even now I still question whether I am just being dramatic. Do I truly have depression and anxiety?
I can still hear my mother's voice in my head "You're just doing it for attention". She had to leave work early one day, my high school found out I wanted to kill myself. She threatened to take my nail polish away as if that would fix everything. As if …show more content…

My mother likes to think being away will make it worse. I on the other hand know that my depression isn't as bad when I am away. If it weren't for my University trying to get rid of me, my depression was in the best condition. I was seeing a weekly counsel, getting medication, and going to class. I was finally becoming the student I always strived to be. Most importantly, I did not have my mother making my anxiety peak every time I tried to get help for my mental health. I know I need to help managing it again. I have begun to notice my patterns. Getting up in the morning is embarrassingly the only thing I can handle. I wake up then just lay there for hours. Everyone always says I just need to get up and eat breakfast or take a shower. That’s not the way it works. I just can’t get up. I argue with myself all morning telling myself if I could just get up I could do something. IF I could just get up I could do my homework or clean my room. But I can’t. It’s as if there is an imaginary weight in my head, too heavy for me to lift. There is so much to do, I