I wake to sunlight streaming through the window. It is far too bright. Why is it so bright? Where am I? My limbs feel heavy, but are starting to come back to life, as though they had died and somehow came back. Hesitantly, I sat up and looked around. Books overflowing on shelves, familiar curtains pulled back from the windows, the way the room was situated, I know this place. I am in my old room again. And once more alone. I shouldn't be alone. But why do I feel that way? I try to reach back, to remember what happened, before the blank darkness I had just woken from. For the past few weeks I had been training to visit the shadow realm. I had gathered all I needed, and was going to do it… Today. I did go, today. Loch, he was there. Laying there so peaceful, still with his half smile. It hurt my heart to see him. My …show more content…
As a kid I had gotten it in case I ever needed it. Everyone needed self defense. Now I was defending the world from me. I looked at my arm and wondered what it would look like with my blood trailing down it. Would it hurt enough to mask everything inside? Does it even matter? No. I just need to do this. I cut once along my wrist. The pain was strong at first, but leveled out. Red blood came to the surface and darkened as it gathered. One for one mistake. More. It took my mind’s pain away momentarily. More. I kept cutting, naming reasons why they should be there. I covered my entire forearm and moved onto my other. There wasn't as much blood as I imagined but there was enough. Both sides were covered in trails. This pain, this helped. I felt slightly dizzy and cold, despite the warmth of the blood. I stopped, with the knife in hand, and watched to blood flow. Suddenly behind me my door flew open, as though broken down. With my little strength I jumped. People. There was still people, still a world. This can't be. I don't want it. I didn't turn