Personal Narrative: I Can T Go

“I can’t go,” was a regular statement I used with my peers during my childhood. “Children should be seen and not hear,” was the constant response my parents gave me when I would push back. Having older parents is both a blessing and a challenge. They provided me with a foundation so comforting and soft, it would feel like jumping into a beautiful pool that’s already at perfect body temperature. I was always able to bounce back from life’s bumps, bruises, and beat downs. However, the price of such a foundation was often times, very claustrophobic. Today my father is 81 and my mother is 72, there is a 45 and 37 year age difference between us. At this stage we are transitioning into the child becoming the care giver. They are still happily married (most days), live in their own home, and are doing well, by most standards. My father is battling dementia, but it currently only affects his short term memory. My mother battled and beat breast cancer three years ago. Now her kidneys are beginning to fail and the doctor recently told her the cancer may come back. I watch them in awe as I witness their bodies betray them. What is interesting is how they don’t complain about their illnesses they complain about missing out on their “I should have” moments.

My parents taught me about history farming being poor being black and middle classed racism segregation and a multitude of other things. I cherish what I’ve learned from them. I pray that during this shift of parent to child and child to caregiver, I can give them the same security I felt as I stumbled along and found my way. While they are still able and willing I challenge myself to provide them a foundation that fosters a limitless environment. Where they can change some of those “I should have” moments into “I remember when” moments. I want them to know what it feels like to be free,