Most people belong to a family. Whether they like the people in their family, or not, really depends on the individual. Let it be known that “…all families can be looked at as dysfunctional; they just vary in terms of the degree and severity of dysfunction” (Shelley). Unfortunately, I can apply several dysfunctional family concepts to my most intimate, personal relationship-my marriage. Thus, the following is a compilation of dysfunctional family perceptions that I can apply to my own life.
To begin, John Gottman-“one of the nation’s leading authorities on the subject of family…” emphasizes the significance of positive family interactions (Shelley). From Gottman’s observations, “He found that couples in functional, high-quality, highly stable marriages have very different ways of handling conflict than do couples in
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At the beginning of our intimate relationship, as boyfriend and girlfriend, our conflicts seemed to be handled in a respectable and effective manner. We would communicate with one another, and make sure that we were cohesively collaborating, and were on the same page in our relationship. Such as the dos and don’ts, or the rules in our relationship. We would discuss what we wanted from our partner and what we were willing to give to one another. Both of us seemed to fit the other’s description of what was desired in a spouse. Our relationship escalated as we
In reference again to Gottman’s study of married couples, he emphasizes, “The difference between these two groups is that the nonregulated [-dysfunctional] couples make frequent, ongoing use of highly dysfunctional interactional processes and the regulated [-functional] couples do not” (Holman & Jarvis, 2003). Studies have shown that “…distressed couples engage in more negativity during conflict interactions. Negativity includes demands,