Personal Narrative: Stage Four Thyroid Cancer

I believe, we have a choice in this world about how to tell sad stories. On one hand you can sugar coat it, the way they do it in movies and in romance novels. Beautiful people learn beautiful lessons. Nothing is too messed up that can’t be fixed with an apology and a Peter Gabriel song. I like that way as much as the next girl, believe me. It’s just not the truth. This is the truth. Sorry. My mother decided I was depressed so she took me to the doctor. She told the doctor that I'm depressed because I eat like a bird, barely leave the house and read “An Imperial Affliction” by Peter Van Houten over and over again. They think that since the booklets and websites always list depression as a side effect of cancer I'm depressed. In my opinion, depression's not a side effect of cancer, it's a side effect of dying. The doctor recommended me to go to a support group because it’s a great way to connect with people who are on the same journey. She was right because that’s where I met my two best friends Isaac and Augustus Waters. Let me tell you how it all started. I was 13 when they found it, pretty much worse case scenario. Stage four thyroid cancer. Not much they could do, which didn't stop them of

But I didn't want to say so. She was in ICU and I snuck in for ten minutes and sat with her before I got caught. Her eyes were closed, her lungs were intubated but her hands were still her hands, still warm, and the nails painted this dark blue back color and I just held her hands and I willed myself to imagine a world without us and what a worthless world that would be. She's so beautiful. You don't get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she's smarter than you cause you know she is. She's funny without ever being mean. I love her, god I love her. I'm so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have a say in who hurts you. Ok, Hazel Grace?” This is when everything flashed back through my