My family is full of devout Mormons. From my ancestors who fled to Utah in the 1850s down to my own parents, nearly all of them were sure to pass their beliefs down to their kin. Mormon culture was possibly the biggest influence on my childhood and adolescence, and my family took the religion very seriously.
Early on in my life, however, I started to see the cracks in the ideology. I realized that I did not believe in the church, but kept it to myself. I enjoyed attending the weekly meetings. Youth activities brought me some of the closest friends I have ever made and daily scripture study brought the family into the living room every morning to talk and laugh. While small things about the church irked me, I could see all the good this religion was providing to both my family and me so I kept it in my life.
Keeping with the status quo worked great for a while. I became President of
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My brother just returned from his church mission in the Czech Republic, a two-year sacrifice expected of Mormon boys on their 18th birthday, and I started thinking about my future. If I were to continue down this path, I would have to forfeit two years of my youth to the church. Not only that, but I would be expected to attend Brigham Young University, and, eventually, get married to a Mormon girl. I was not prepared for this religion to define my life. I did not want the church to make my decisions for me.
I had to meet with my parents, the bishop and my church leaders and explain to them that I was not going to meet their expectations. I explained how I intended to blaze my own trail. They were disappointed. They told me I was going to go through life alone without God’s help. They believed I was making a grave mistake, and that I should reconsider. I might have listened to them. I might have retracted my decision. However, the joy of self-actualization assured me that I was to stick to my