If you are in a position to take a group of foster siblings into your home, you may find that the children range in ages from very young to teenagers. This can sometimes result in difficulties, especially with the oldest child. However, giving up on that foster child or separating him or her from his younger siblings can be extremely detrimental to the well being of all the siblings. Instead, there are some things you should try before asking for another placement for that older sibling.
Foster Siblings and Family Dynamics
First, it's important to understand the mindset of the siblings. Keep in mind that they've been removed from a highly dysfunctional home. In many cases, it falls to the oldest sibling to care for the younger siblings, taking on more of a parental
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Remember that he or she may not even fully understand how to be a kid yet.
Gain his or her trust. The adults in these children's lives have not been reliable. In some cases, the adults may have been violent or verbally abusive. The natural instinct of the oldest child is going to be to protect the younger siblings.
Foster siblings are frightened that they will be separated, but at the same time all of the children will test you and your boundaries. Be consistent and calm.
Take over tasks a little at a time. Ask the oldest sibling if you can get the kids their baths so she has more time to study for an upcoming test.
Most importantly, let the oldest child know that you understand she loves her siblings and has looked out for them, but that she now has help.
Extra Help
If the situation becomes volatile, you need to consider the safety of the younger children. Before rehoming the oldest sibling, though, try to work things out through counseling, weekend breaks, and setting firm boundaries. Making the decision to take on an entire group of foster siblings is a big decision. It can be difficult under the best of circumstances. Time, and a lot of patience are usually in