Pony Party Summary

On the daily, most of us will encounter countless of strangers. Whether if we’re on the bus, the subway, going to work, or in a cafe, we get to see different individuals going about their day. Sometimes, we like to observe those strangers, but, there are times where we might observe them a little too much. We somehow become quickly fascinated, and that can lead us to stare at the person. Though, what can a stare do? And what are the effects of the stare? The concept of the stare is a strange one, it creates discomfort for the staree. It doesn’t matter how they react, but their reaction sparks from the uncomfortableness that the starer has initiated. This is evident in Lucy Grealy’s personal essay, “Pony Party”, where she encounters countless of stares from children due to her partially missing jaw (14). She became uncomfortable and self-conscious about her appearance; “I made things worse by

The essay, “Why Do We Stare?” by Rosemarie Garland-Thompson, proves my personal theory on the stare; “staring encounters nonetheless, drafts the staree into a story of the starer’s making, whatever that story might be, whether they like it or not” (8). And because of these assumptions and story-making, there are times I had to reflect on myself. Do I identify as a female, because I was biologically born as one? Or do I identify as a male, because of my appearance and my behavior? The stare raises questions, and those questions not only puts me in such a uncomfortable position but, it also confuses me. Grealy’s disability and my gender identity seems to have individuals off-guard, as if their stare demands us to engage them first, but I like to think of it in a way how Thompson puts it as “starees, or course, arestomtimes relyectant participants in their starers visual search for something new; they have their own lives to live” (“Why Do We Stare?