In this sitcom the women have most of the power in the family. Deborah knows what Ray wants and it is the same in most episodes. Both Ray and his brother Robert yearn for their mother’s love and Marie knows this too. Deborah and Marie use this knowledge as power over Ray and Robert. Deborah wants Marie’s approval as a good mother and Marie uses this to control the family. This is how Marie has all to power and control of the family.
Deborah wants to hear Ray say the words “I love you.” Ray has an aversion to saying I love you. We learn that this is a family trait passed on from generation to generation. The open expression of affection is taboo. Ray looks into the reasons he cannot say those words. He seeks the council of his father.
Ray finds Frank working on the shower that Robert broke earlier. Ray asks Frank when the last time he told anyone that he loves them. Frank replies “what are you living in a fairy land”. This is a clear hostile defensive measure
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The antagonists are the women and protagonists are the men. Ray is doing everything he can to get the approval of his wife Deborah. With every gesture that Ray makes Deborah lets him know passively that it is not quite good enough. She knows Ray has a psychological barrier that he is having difficulty getting through. Throughout the episode Ray keeps trying to overcome this barrier. Finally, he has a breakthrough and vows to change his ways. By the end of the episode it is clear that Ray and Deborah’s Language of love are different. There are five languages of love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Ray’s Language is Acts of Service and Deborah’s language is Words of Affirmation. Once Ray learns how the speak her language the conflict is over. He is able to tell her he loves her. She then proceeds to laugh at him. This maintains her power over him continuing the cycle of