In a 2013 study, 32% of people under the age of 30 said they preferred to be texted about a first date (Ansari 34). In contrast, only 23% preferred to be called (34). The preference for texting in the past few years is staggering and plays a large part in modern dating. Aziz Ansari examines the profound effects of texting in the second chapter of his book, Modern Romance. He first reports that texting has made it difficult to obtain good first impressions. Texting has also caused people to attempt to gain the upper hand and seem more appealing by making others wait for a response. Finally, texting has replaced the traditional, courteous method of calling.
Ansari discovered that good first impressions are often difficult to achieve because of texting. The use of formal or informal language in text messaging can create a large difference in perception. Many people are turned away by messages that read, “Hay wuts good?” Sending slang can cause the chances of getting a first date to be slim. Slang, grammatical errors, and misspellings are irreversible in texting and
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It is easy to make the other person wait minutes or even hours for a reply when text messaging. Ansari states that waiting can make someone appear to be more appealing (59). It causes the other person to build up anticipation and panic whenever a quick response is not made (60). Waiting can make it unclear if a potential suitor is interested or not. Daters may use this method to seem more attractive, but it is also used to seem more powerful than the other person. In potential or already committed relationships, how healthy can this be? Gaining appeal or the upper hand by making someone wait for a response can be toxic because it eliminates the idea of being straightforward with the other person. Showing interest in a person can remove uncertainty and the desire for more power in a