Summary Of Guyland Eyes On The Guys

Independence is better earned than given. It is something that is learned over time and ultimately valued. Women in this day and age are caught in the troubles of creating an authenticity for themselves and independence from men. Michael Kimmel explains the struggles of women in a society ruled by men in his essay “Guyland: Eyes on the Guys”. Guyland is a figurative place that Kimmel creates to describe the societal standards women must fit to enter adulthood. He stresses the pressures that women undergo to get through Guyland, including the maintenance of their authenticity and a sense of agency. Women learn to maneuver through these struggles in Guyland by the teachings of their parents and experience. Parenting plays a crucial role in the

Western parenting causes women to rely on others, such as sororities and men to feel accepted. They ruin their sense of agency this way by conforming to the societal norms to receive other’s acceptance. It also ruining the solid relationships that they already established. Women situate themselves with Guyland to gain experience of adulthood. These experiences such as sisterhood sororities, relationships with men, and career opportunities serves a lesson to better themselves in the search for authenticity. In Guyland, women are given the label of “babe” when they act the way men want them to and “bitch” when they resist to act that same way. Kimmel quotes Rosalind Wiseman, author of “Queen Bees & Wannabes”, expressing that women in sororities discover that “girls’ social hierarchy increasingly traps girls in a cycle of craving boys’ validation, pleasing boys to obtain that validation, and betraying the friends who truly support them,”(qtd 246). They destroy their image when conforming to male expectations. Sorority rituals such as “Circle the Fat” or “Bikini Weigh” pressure females to change their figures to fit societal norms instead of remaining true to themselves. Kimmel refers to a term created in the campuses of Duke University known as “effortless perfection” that depict the mindset that women have to when working hard for their goals while appearing effortless. Though this method make them appear to have a sense of agency, they are just damaging their authenticity by covering their efforts. They lack the agency they desire because they were not raised in the correct form. Chinese parents, on the other hand, raise their children to be firm and independent. It is almost as if Chinese parents program their children to succeed without the help of others no matter what costs. Chua differentiates the outcome of each parenting methods “Western parents are extremely self