"Hot and bothered" has long referred to romance and those sparks of chemistry between you and the one you love, but if you have a chronic illness, romance may be the last thing on your mind. Chronic illness can quickly redefine "hot" to mean the symptoms of a thyroid condition, night sweats, or a hot heating pad. "Bothered" is something you feel every night when you are annoyed you can't sleep. For examle, achy joints, a dog who snores from his resting place on your pillow, and a spouse that can sleep through anything. Romantic evenings may be the last thing on your mind in your home!
Nearly 1 in 2 people live with a chronic illness in the U.S. which means that a lot of marriages are disrupted by this uninvited third party of illness, often
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For example, "Good for 5 guilt-free hours with your friends watching baseball." Don't even make him feel badly for doing things you can't do like taking a hike or going for a roller coaster ride.
Perfect marriages will never exist, but a even a marriage that has an illness can be a huge blessing and not just a state of survival. Romance comes in many ways. I remember loving my husband more than ever the night I couldn't not move because of a rheumatoid arthritis flare. I "slept" sitting on the couch and he spent the night on the floor beside the couch to comfort me every time I screamed from the pain.
Love comes in many forms. One of the books I've bought all the couples in my life is "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs. It talks a lot about "love languages" and how men feel loved when they feel respected, while women want to feel loved with emotions and words. Oftentimes we are offering our spouse what we desire rather than the "love language" they need. Being aware of all of the small ways we can show each other love and respect add up to romance when you least expect