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What We Talk About Love: The Art Of Loving By Erick Fromm

682 Words3 Pages

Over sixty year ago, Erick Fromm published The Art of Loving. In this book, he explains that due to human's sense of self-awareness, "he would become insane could he not liberate himself from this prison and reach out, unite himself in some form or other with men, with the world outside" (Fromm 8). Humans use love to combat this universal fear of dying alone. Fromm believes that there are two types of love: mature and immature. Immature love is a symbiotic relationship in which both people end up losing themselves. Whereas, in mature love both people remain an individual by holding onto a sense of self. Immature love is made up of a sadist who is looking for someone to control, and a masochist who is seeking to be controlled. Fromm wrote, "The sadistic person is as dependent on the submissive person as the latter is on the former; neither can live without the other" (19)."The Hitchhiking Game," depicts a female character as a masochist who tries to gain control by role playing as a hitchhiker. The short story, "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love" shows three examples in which the sadist is a female. These short stories demonstrate that the role one plays in their relationship is independent of their gender.
In "What We Talk …show more content…

The young man enjoys having a girlfriend that he can control, he consistently wants, "to see the girl's embarrassment" (2). The girl in the relationship never feels like she can be herself; "it worried her that she was not able to combine seriousness with lightheartedness" (3). When the girl begins to play the role of a flirtatious hitchhiker, she shows signs of confidence. Her boyfriend sees this role reversal as a threat and as a result, "he longed to humiliate her" (13). By the end of the story, the male aggressively takes control back by sexually assaulting and degrading his

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