A Servile Moment

January 9th was one of the few times my fate was laid in my hands. Every servile moment spent determined my intimidation to competitors, ability and conclusively, my value. Six was the number of people that had broken to finals. Six was also the number I had worked to beat. Shikellamy wasn 't as I had envisioned it to be. Instead of the intimidating exterior I was anticipating, the high school was a warm one level building; with welcoming administration and volunteers at every corner willing to aid you. Of course with the exception of the auditorium. My fellow five other competitors were lined up on the stage. The spot was phosphorescent, for it was like the main attraction to a theme park. The faces in the audience were barely distinguishable. The only people I had to look to were the two friends I had made that day standing beside me whom had also broke to finals. We all awaited our placement with one common thread of thought connecting us, "The seconds were crawling to the moment when results were announced." Everyone stood up on stage in angst,

The whirlpool of emotions, then the tidal wave that shook the grounded person I was. This earthquake throughout myself broke apart everything I thought I knew about myself, separating my self deprecating thoughts to the reality of my ability. A flash of lightening granted me the light to the darkness of what I never knew about myself, and ultimately what I could accomplish. That shock, the butterflies I felt in my stomach, the anxious persona on stage when they announced the awards would only be the start of it. These negatives emotions, the self doubt, the statement in my head that convinced myself that my contribution to the team was so insignificant, everything and every time where I had disparaged myself vanished into an oblivion. The plaque that I received, with first place written across it had been my own baptism into a new, more morale