Amanda Denes Analysis Of Pillow Talk

The podcast that I have chosen is episode 5 with Amanda Denes. Denes is an interpersonal communication researcher who has focused much of her research on topics around the communication of sex. This podcast focuses on the communication of pick up artists and the communication aspects of pillow talk. Denes discusses the methodology of pick up artists and her analysis of forums on pick up artistry as well as the book The Mystery Method. She talks about the dangers of the ideas that are being expressed in these forums and in this book because they go past just the art of seduction and at points blur the line of consent. Denes also delves into the effects pillow talk has on different stages of relationships in this podcast. So often the only parts

She creates a distinct difference between the art of seduction and pick up artistry. Manuals for pick up artists are very focused on the idea of tricking women into bed . They discuss ways of trying to raise women's oxytocin levels so that they will not think as rationally about sleeping with these men. Denes has written an article on this topic and how going from seducing a woman through words turns to pressuring them and ignoring their wishes. Although every girl is warned that men like this exist, especially on college campuses, it was repulsive to me to hear that there are books and forums teaching men to behave this way. As Denes mentioned, the media plays a large role with songs such as Blurred Lines seemingly justifying what these men are doing even though rape on college campuses has become an epidemic. As we learned in Comm 1000, persuasion can be very successful if prepared and thought out before hand. This really brings out the dangerous side of communication because language can be manipulated to mess with peoples oxytocin levels and make them do something they do not actually want to

When oxytocin is released through sex, partners are left feeling more trusting of each other and are more willing to open up and share personal feelings, as Denes described in the podcast. In more of a college hook up culture this can be seen as very worrisome by partners because feelings are usually not supposed to be a part of the equation. Of course in new and longer term relationships, it makes a lot of sense that pillow talk can aid in building a deeper emotional connection in a relationship, as Denes talked about. In marriages, I think that many relationships could be reignited or even saved if Denes’ research was more widely discussed because pillow talk could help partners reconnect and remember why they chose to spend the rest of their lives together. Although it makes sense, I had never explicitly thought about how pillow talk had shaped my own relationships but now that I think about it, it definitely has had a huge impact on closeness and how well you