This year’s summer reading essay requested a connection between a short poem by Bertolt Brecht and Ishmael Beah’s A Long Way Gone. My paper generally fulfilled the purpose of the prompt, but could use improvement. The comment “what will this argue?” made it clear that the topic sentences opening the body paragraphs of my essay were inconsistent and insufficient in terms of stating the paragraphs’ arguments. While the second and third body paragraphs included topic sentences that connected more explicitly to the Brecht quote, overall they were rushed and transitioned less than smoothly. The transitions throughout my paper were either nonexistent, or in one case, which merited comment, based off order and chronology rather than the flow of …show more content…
For example, I intended to discuss both negative and positive possible interpretations of the Brecht quote, and indicated as much, until that intention was entirely ignored in favor of finishing the essay. Although that is simply an issue of time, it is important to know what is prudent to include in a paper and what is not, especially in a timed setting. Also due to the timed setting was the problem of messy and inefficient sentence structure, which is something I attempt to keep high standards for. The inability to think out word choice before writing led to repetition and awkward word …show more content…
As for the difference between topic and theme, I only used the word “theme” once in my essay, and then correctly, to describe a detailed message seen throughout A Long Way Gone. My topic sentences were not cringe-worthy, yet still could bear improvement and clarification. Those in the second and third body paragraphs in my essay were sufficient in stating the argument, though were still fairly general. The four basic elements of my introductory paragraph were there, though imperfectly executed. The hook that opened the paragraph was interesting, but further in, Brecht’s poem was introduced then left without sufficient analysis or an explicit statement of the theme that I would be connecting to the memoir. The said memoir is also introduced without enough analysis, and the introduction overall lacks any clear statement of theme, although it does state that the themes from each piece connect in some vague way. The methods of improvement for these aspects of my essay are similar to those already said - the addition of transitions will make the essay less choppy to read, and planning early in the writing process will help with the flow and meshing of ideas, as well as clear statements as to topic and