FOUL TIP is a comedy that takes an entertaining look at a neurotic and obsessive father, who is desperate for his daughter to win a softball scholarship. The plot is definitely one that can be a lot of fun. The world of sports is competitive and it’s easy to envision a controlling, desperate father pushed to the edge. The script examines the moral question of how far a parent will go to see their child succeed. The story is presented as a comedy. There are elements of a dark comedy, as well as exaggerated or campy humor. While there are definite strengths, the script would benefit from more development. There are solid inciting events with the introduction of the new coach and when Amanda is not allowed to play. This drives the father’s actions. The second act centers on the father’s attempt to get his daughter back into the game. His goal is clear. The stakes are financial and eventually the stakes grow to be physical and personal. The situation nicely spirals out of control when Dom decides to poison the Coach. The stakes rise with the threat of discovery and the father’s eventual arrest. However, the structure utilized with the narrative voiceover is a structure that should …show more content…
One definitely can understand how desperate he is, but the audience never fully identifies with him as a character. Find ways to make Dom more emotionally engaging. He can be clearly flawed, but he has to connect with the audience. In the dark comedy, TO DIE FOR, even though the protagonist, Suzanne Stone, is a wicked person, there’s something very quirky and likable about her. She’s psychologically twisted, yet the character connects with the audience. The audience also connected to the mother in “SERIAL MOM” and to the black humor. Try to do the same with Dom. Convince the audience he’s doing the right thing (although he’s not) and convince the audience to want Dom to get away with his