Arguing: A Healthy Communicative Tool Analysis

Auguletto, Darius

CRN #81437

Arguing: A Healthy Communicative Tool

One of the many factors of a healthy relationship is how we effectively communicate with one another. Arguments, for example, are emotionally charged exchanges that can very quickly bring negative results to a relationship. However, when supportive and positive communication is used, arguments can contribute positively to a relationship. Arguments can help build upon and strengthen our relationships with our partner, family, friends and colleagues on many levels.

Arguments are a great way to help strengthen our communicative skills. Our relationships are built upon how we communicate with one another. The language we use, from our word choice to our tone, plays a critical role

Every single person has their own views and opinions that are more often than not, divergent with our partner’s views. Even when we find ourselves grounded by our shared values and beliefs, there are variants to these beliefs that can create conflict when not communicated appropriately. When positive and supportive language is used, arguments provide a forum to bounce ideas off of one another and an opportunity to share our feelings and beliefs on topics that are of interest or importance to us. My partner and I struggled a great deal from the early onset of our relationship about our familial goals. My partner shared early on that she did not want to have children, whereas I do. This was hard to accept because I have always pictured myself having children. In the beginning of our relationship, we did not broach the subject very often. When the subject came up, we quickly changed subjects so as to avoid the argument that would ensue if we delved further. As our relationship grew, however, we became more open and honest about our views and the reasons behind them. I began to understand that there were far greater reasons for her decision to not have children than I had previously known. When she limited her explanations to a simple statement without any reasoning, it was hard to have an effective dialogue about the subject matter and we often found ourselves just frustrated with one

Arguments are a healthy way for us to air out our grievances. When we are able to openly share and communicate with one another about things that are bothering us, we are able to lower our stress levels because we are no longer carrying the weight on our own. When we keep our feelings to ourselves, particularly emotions of anger, frustration, or sadness, the stress can continue to build to the point where the person can no longer breathe. The build-up of stress becomes so overwhelming that it can eventually lead to an emotionally charged and volatile argument. The key, therefore, is to remain open and honest at all times so as to maintain stress at a manageable level. My partner has become more open about expressing herself and confronting me about things that bother her. For example, I was not aware for quite some time that she did not like it when I directed attention towards her when we went to social gatherings. I had always made an effort to involve her in conversations because I didn’t want her to feel left out. My partner, however, felt that I was being inconsiderate of her social anxiety, which I was not aware of early on in our relationship. Rather than telling me right, she kept it to herself and built it a lot of resentment towards me. When I confronted her one day after noticing that she was looking for any excuse not to go out, she finally opened up and told me how uncomfortable she was. I explained to her that I