Page 509
All these distanced you from me by making me strict, serious, suspicious and insipid. That time I was thinking love as a weakness and happiness as selfishness. I did not expect your deliberate action to offend my arrogance as an ascetic.
Did I bring this disaster on me? Since my childhood, I knew the transient nature of the happiness from materials. Hence, I did not have weakness for any materialistic thing. Whatever was transient, an attraction for that brings nothing but sadness. I was so much attracted to you that it was causing hindrance to my meditation. Being free from you was the only recourse. However, I did not imagine that freedom will come as a disaster.
In each person, there is dream and desire for downfall and awakening.
…show more content…
I know you are the affectionate daughter of Brahma. This curse could be worse than the sin and even the cause of your death. This curse might disfigure you and make you crazy and give you hellish experience. You might die of hunger and thirst. Violent animals could tear your tender body apart using their nails and teeth. Your beautiful body might become a playground for the slave and demons.
Even after knowing all these I cursed you, while drinking the blood from my own heart.
Page 515
Just like committing a sin, cursing someone is difficult. The cursing person also goes through a great deal of suffering.
Indra is despondent for not having you as his own. My sorrow is because of losing you. Tell me, whose sorrow is deeper? Indra likes physical aspect of relationship. His wishes got fulfilled and hence he was ecstatic. What did I get? My arrogance as the husband of the most beautiful woman got crushed. All my dreams were shattered too. Ahalya! Do you think only woman dreams of family, home, husband and son? Do you think a man never dreams about children, wife and family? A woman derives pleasure in speaking about her dreams. A man talks less. He cannot express his love for his child verbally. When the mother's love for a child is like a flowing current of water that of a father is like a deep lake. A man cannot express his love for the child or his wife, he cannot express. That is not in his book.
Page