Sometimes it happens… a person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life says to you, “We cannot be together anymore.” You watch them gather things, shut the door, and your mind starts flooding with a ton of emotions. A huge part of your life, a huge piece of yourself is gone, and while your brain is confused, desperately trying to realize the new situation and cope and adjust the ground quickly shattering under your feet, deep inside your chest you slowly realize this is real, and this is forever. Breakups are painful. Unlike many people perceive, it is difficult for the both sides, the dumper, if he/she truly loved you for a period, feels probably the same pain as you do. It is just that when he/she finally decides to leave …show more content…
As for the dumpee, it is only the beginning. and unlike many Internet articles say, there is no quick way to deal with the pain. There is no shortcut, no magic pill that would help the person who got left suddenly wake up and feel alright. A breakup is a loss, and with any type of lose there will be grief. There are going to be four circles, and then the exit. The four circles, or stages of coping with breakups are denial, anger, bargaining, and depression; the exit is acceptance. Denial is the reaction of your brain aimed at protecting your personality from the intensity of the initial breakup emotions. Denial can last for minutes or days, depending on what kind of person you are. Sometimes denial can last for decades: in fact, as well as each of the other stages. When in the denial stage, a dumpee often makes themselves believe his/her ex has made a mistake, got confused, and will eventually realize it and come back. After this usually comes anger. “How could they do this to me?” People find it difficult or even impossible to feel anger towards a person they loved and adored, and instead direct their anger towards themselves. It is important to let yourself feel anger. Write hateful texts, tear up …show more content…
It is natural during this period to feel isolated, or even to try isolate themselves. At the same time, there are many people who are willing to help the person cope with the pain and learn how to accept themselves again, reaching out to good friends or family members is helpful and wise, this is the first step in the recovery process—especially if any of them have gone through the same hardships before. It is important that a person can trust these people, and that they are fully over their broken relationships. If they can learn to let go, a dumpee’s negativity can only cause more stress on themselves and others. A supporting person must be able to listen to a the person who got dumped. Making new friendships, or talking to a therapist are also very helpful in recovering. Getting out and trying to be more social when you feel you just want to be alone is also helpful to keep one’s mind from the loss and the pain. The person must be willing to be more social and expand their “comfort zone”. It is also important that you take care of yourself for your physical and emotional needs. When you feel defeated in the way of someone leaving you, you tend to ignore your needs such as caring for yourself. You find yourself becoming lazier, not feeling as active, not eating,