Christine Gudof's Analysis

There is one word used commonly to describe the intricate and evolving art that is parenthood. That word is sacrifice. The mental and physical sacrifices parents make daily in order to demonstrate their love for their children. In “Parenting, Mutual Love, and Sacrifice,” Christine E. Gudorf challenges the popular view that parenting is, “heroic, self-sacrificing, Christian love” (Gudorf 176). Using her own experience as a parent of two medically handicapped children and one natural child she disputes the claim that self-sacrifice is what constitutes good parenting. But rather good parenting “involves sacrifice and aims at mutuality” (Gudorf 182). True self-sacrificial love is not possible without mutuality. The realm of disinterested sacrificial

Gudorf and her husband have two adopted medically handicapped children and one biologic child. Both adopted children have the same medical conditions and require assistance daily. Gudorf and her husband lived day by day for their kids. “The children were in control, not only of themselves, but of us, as least as much as we were” she states on page 177. They dictated how the Gudorf’s would live their life and the public image they would uphold. Parent’s of children with disabilities are often praised for their courage and patience. Strangers view their love as heroic, believing they are just saving a disabled child. Gudorf speaks of an experience that she had with a social worker, she said, “A well-meaning woman once told our eldest son that he should be grateful everyday of his life that we had adopted him.” People are under the impression that parents of disabled children deserved admiration because they are doing a heroic action. But in Andrew Solomon’s book Far From the Tree, parents of children with disabilities recount stories admitting to having unheroic thoughts. Sara Hadden is the mother of two boys, both of whom are suffering from multiple serve disabilities (MSD). Shortly after receiving the diagnosis of her second son, Sara recalls saying, “‘I sat on the kitchen floor trying to convince myself to take both boys with me to the garage and turn on the car and let all of us go on the carbon monoxide.’” Although her desires were selfish, she did not act on them. But it does not deny the fact that these desires