Coaching Conversations Paper

Academic Assignment

This paper explores the impact of conversations in a coaching environment. It opens by identifying the subtle nuances of a coaching conversation and the complexities within this. It then builds on the skills required for a coach to engage effectively in a coaching relationship. It explores the concept that conversations are multi-dimensional and non-linear with a multitude of moving parts. To effectively guide conversations, a coach needs to keep these as ‘real as possible’, using trust and truthfulness to drive action, change and results. _____________________________________________________________

The notion that our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time is at once commonsensical and revolutionary (Scott,

‘Everything in coaching hinges on listening – especially listening with the client’s agenda in mind. The coach listens at many levels simultaneously to hear where the clients are in their process, to hear where they are out of balance, to hear their progress on the journey of fulfillment’ (Whitworth et al, 2007). Allison and Harbour (2009) suggest that we listen on three distinct levels - the first level is internal listening (self-talk), then active listening, with the ultimate level being intuitive listening, where the coach ‘listens for thought patterns, detects areas that are left unsaid and senses the feelings that lie under the surface of the conversation’. Similarly, Whitworth et al (2007), also cite three similar levels of listening – internal, focused and global listening. Listening in a coaching environment takes place on a deeper level, listening for the meaning behind the story, for the underlying process, for the theme that will deepen the learning (Whitworth et al,

‘A safe and courageous space for change must be, by definition, a place where the truth can be told. It is a place where clients can tell the whole truth about what they have done, and not done, without worrying about what the coach will say’ (Whitworth et al, 2007). Glaser (2013) has linked the emotions of trust and distrust to different areas of our brain. Distrust occurs in the primitive amygdala, which guides our emotions; trust takes place in the higher functioning pre-frontal cortex which is where our brain processes and analyses information and builds logic. When there are elements of distrust in a conversation, the prefrontal cortex shuts down and the amygdala takes over, allowing emotions rather than logic drive our behaviour. A coach needs to bridge the feelings of distrust and move the coachee to an environment of openness and trust, to where the heart and the brain are in