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Deborah Tannen But What Do You Mean Summary

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Communication is an essential part of human interaction, although men and women frequently fail to communicate well. This phenomenon is more than just a question of different words; it involves intricate layers of intent, perception, and social conditioning. Deborah Tannen's essay "But What Do You Mean?" discusses the complexities of gender-based communication inequalities, notably in professional settings. Miscommunications frequently result from differences in conversational styles and expectations, leading to frustration and misunderstanding. This essay will investigate why men and women communicate badly, if at all, by highlighting key aspects of Tannen's essay and drawing on insights from other scholarly sources. Men and women frequently miscommunicate due to inherent …show more content…

This goal-oriented approach can sometimes appear dismissive to women who are seeking emotional support rather than solutions. This difference is visible in how men and women take compliments and criticism. Tannen uses the example of a woman who commended her male colleague's presentation and expected an equal remark. Instead, she received a lengthy analysis of her presentation, leaving her feeling judged and unappreciated. The man, on the other hand, was simply participating in what he saw as a helpful conversation. This contrast in expectations demonstrates how men and women can talk over each other, each according to their conversational standards, without acknowledging the other's point of view. A study by sociolinguist Janet Holmes backs up this claim, revealing that women are more inclined to employ hedging language, qualifiers, and tag questions to soften their comments and promote collaboration. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to use strong and authoritative language. These distinctions can present substantial challenges to good communication since each gender may misread the other's intentions and

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