Definition Essay Forgiveness

Forgiveness: What is it Good For?

Forgive & Forget is an outdated saying which taints the definition, experience, and what events occur after. Forgiveness, by definition, does not equal toleration, forgetting, excusing, or denying the offense. Forgiveness is the conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward something that harmed you. Using a one size fits all approach to going about forgiveness is flawed in many ways. Forgiveness is specific to each offense and other actions may take place when the offense repeats. Forgiveness is a necessary beneficial aspect to the healing process because it helps solidify personal growth, builds healthier relationships, and an increase in mental and physical health may

While forgiveness is not our “natural” response, it is the “deliberate decision” to turn away from feeling “toxicity” and giving away our “right to revenge” (Reed-Woodard “Forgive and Forget?”). After a wrong-doing a right to revenge is given in favor of becoming even. However, revenge still welcomes toxic feelings, unlike forgiveness. Inner strength is exhibited by taking charge of personal emotions furthering personal growth. Feelings of hatred tags along with the captivity by the offender. Forgiveness is “gift-like” in the essence for stopping a harmful “cycle” (Enright "Counseling within the Forgiveness Triad”). When talking to someone in a sour mood, the aura they produce negatively affects others around them. The same thing happens with the lack of forgiveness, contributing to a dangerous cycle of harm and wrong doing by portraying negative emotions onto others. Standing face to face with the offense and giving forgiveness will release the grasp and mentally free you. Rumination is a powerful enemy when it comes to getting over an offense. Forgiveness stops rumination, the constant thought and reflection, toward the offense. Graham and many others state, “rumination can decrease skills of coping with the results of an increase in sense of guiltiness” (Graham et al. “The Mediating Role of Forgiveness”). The ability to skillfully cope, which can be achieved by forgiveness,

Holding a grudge will affect day to day life and creates captivity with no mental escape from the offense. According to Frank, “being unable to forgive can make you bitter and suspicious” (Frank “The Freeing Power of Forgiveness”). In other words, the void of forgiveness directly correlates with the uprisings in stress and anxiety. The constant stimulation of suspicion can be evaluated as one of the definitions for anxiety. Therefore, releasing an offense will allow a lead on taking charge of one’s own mental health and emotions. Furthermore, lack of forgiveness can lead to anger within the offended. Baskin informs “potential benefits that forgiveness can have with clients suffering significantly from issues that involve anger borne out of unfair treatment” (Baskin "Intervention Studies on Forgiveness”). Either from childhood trauma or a recent experience, forgiveness can still release unpleasant feelings of toxicity and anger. If acknowledging all the psychological benefits of forgiveness was not enough, great physical health benefits also follow. Examples shown from studies conducted at the Journal of Behavioral Medicine which studied the blood spikes people experience while stressed and how the blood spikes “fell back to normal faster in people who were more forgiving of a betrayal” (Farquhar “The Healing Power of Forgiveness”). Forgiveness has a great impact on physical health, for this