As a seminary student, I can tell you that self-care is one of those jargon words we throw around a lot. Most seminary conversations are just some variation of the words “self-care,” “context,” and “Jesus.” Basically, self-care means taking care of yourself first, so that you are able to serve others. I can’t give you a drink if my well is empty, so I have to be intentional about caring for myself first. It’s kind of like the airline attendant tells you before take off: “In case the cabin pressure is lost, put the oxygen mask on YOURSELF before assisting others. You’re no good to anyone if you’re passed out.” Well, maybe not that last bit, but you get the idea. Self-care is putting the oxygen mask on yourself first, before you pass out and …show more content…
In my case, my ex-husband’s sexually addiction seemed to affect every part of my life, even the little things. Watching TV with him went something like this: Oh my gosh, I didn’t realize this would have kissing in it. Will that set him off? Is he looking away or is he watching? Oh no! She’s wearing a really short skirt to run from terrorists. Is he fantasizing? Maybe we should just play Scrabble instead. *Breaks out Scrabble board* Crap, I accidentally spelled sex, if you look at it on the angle and you skip the “T” in the middle. He’s going to have a set back for …show more content…
Sometimes, we don’t even know what we like to do. This is especially common if we married really young or were in an abusive relationship. Here’s the test: name something you like to do, not something “we” or “they” like to do. For many, this is harder than it sounds.
So, grab a pen and a piece of paper. Write down anything that gives you life, that makes you feel rested. Write down things that you really enjoy doing. Make sure these are things you can do without the addict. Pick the top one or two items, and commit to taking fifteen to thirty minutes a day doing those things.
For me, the top two things are writing and a tie between knitting and walking for second place. I spend a few minutes every day writing. Sometimes for the blog and sometimes I work on writing a novel. It’s amazing how many pages you can write in just fifteen minutes a day. I take another fifteen minutes a day and I’ll either knit or go for a walk. I need these things because they give me life. They give me air, and I need that before I can help