The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung wrote that “the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parents,” by which he meant that where and how our caretakers were stuck in their development, this becomes an internal paradigm for us also to be stuck. Don Ruiz suggests that we “don’t take anything personally.” Discuss how Ruiz’s recommendation provides a structure for addressing projections of our caretakers. Next, reflect on a time when your primary caretakers projected poison upon you. What was said and/or implied? In your opinion, was the poison conscious or unconscious? Does the second agreement help you reframe their words and/or actions? Many parents did not succeed in the dreams they set out into the world to achieve, …show more content…
She struggles for dominance in my life, even now in my adulthood. My mother frequently lists off the aspects of myself that I need to “Improve,” which includes my morals, emotions, and physical appearance. Since I was a child, she has repeatedly stated that need to “fix” my “crooked” teeth, even though her teeth are nearly in the same pattern of mine. The way my mother discussed my teeth seemed to be out of disgust and disappointment. Her statements about my teeth caused me to feel insecure for most of my life, and that I was somehow a lesser person because of them. I never smiled with my teeth exposed in photographs because I felt unattractive and embarrassed. It has taken me until I was a sophomore in college to stop taking my mother’s words personally. As noted in The Second Agreement, I have come to the realization that her words are just a projection of her insecurities. My mother sees a mirror within me and is terrified of her own reflection. She views her own teeth as ugly and uses me as a conduit for her negative emotions. I have built an invisible boundary between my mother and I that poisonous words cannot penetrate. I have learned to ignore words aimed to kill, and to respond out of compassion. When people spew poison, it mean they are afraid and intimidated. They are similar to rattlesnakes that encounter a larger predator, they must protect themselves from external