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Fd2 Reflection

615 Words3 Pages

In the FD2 essays is where I had to do the most adjustments. Overall, I had a good central and sub claim, but I needed to fix my development, analysis, and organization. For the organization the professor said, “Need to connect concept of protesting to central claim.” I try to apply this feedback by trying to explain how the reaction that police has towards protest of blacks and whites is completely different. I explain how when whites protest the police just waited until the whole protest ease down, but when blacks protest police immediately use force and aggression to stop them. Also, I explained how this encounters are streamed life or recorded and the justice system sees the different treatments that police provide towards different race, but they do not do anything to or punish the officers. For …show more content…

I explain these revisions further in detail in my essays. Another comment that the professor gave me was, “Stick to one topic per paragraph. On page 4 also you begin to talk about media (Twitter, Facebook, etc.), but I don't see the connection to your central claim there.” My purpose for this paragraph was to explain how social media was the tool that brought to light all the injustices that police and the justice system had towards black Americans, but I did not explain it in a way that it would related to my central claim. Since it was so difficult for me to make this paragraph connect to my central claim, I decided to deleted and not talk about media at all in my essay. For this essay the peer reviews were also all positive and compliments towards my essay. I think that I could of gotten some suggestions to fix my essay, because I was not so confident submitting this essay how I was with the first

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