I was never the child who wailed out to my mother in the middle of the night “There’s a monster under my bed!”, but that is probably due to the fact that I was more terrified of the monster in the bathroom. It had bright red eyes and it overwhelmed my nightmares, my daydreams, my innermost thoughts. It took quite a bit of time to make its decisions, and when it did, I didn’t like what it had to tell me, in fact I loathed it. Its voice consisted of small, low beeps that rung in my ears for days on end; I still can still hear it sometimes when I feeling sad or insecure or lonely. It was a jealous creature, never wanting me to think about anyone else; my thoughts were only allowed to be consumed by it. Subsequently, I lived in the shadows, avoiding attention, avoiding being in the way or in the spotlight. …show more content…
If the time was added up, I’m sure I spent hours standing on it, disappointed with what I saw, disappointed with me. Low sugar, low carb, low fat, low everything, but nothing seemed to alleviate my inner conflict. I still felt ashamed and embarrassed of how I appeared. Instead of counting my blessings I was counting my calories, and it was taking a toll on my mental health and close relationships. I experienced failure after failure as I stepped on the scale and the number glaring back at me remained the same or, worse yet, crawled back up a few intervals. I was impatient, and I was looking for an easy way