Gogol In The Namesake, By Jhumpa Lahiri

Family and home life are two of the first major influences on a person’s life, for better or worse. From the very beginning, the actions, or lack of actions, that are made by one’s parents can affect them for the rest of their lives. Two young men navigate their way through life, with the influences of the people around them, parents in particular, as they continue to grow into their new-found identity in the American culture. In David Sedaris’ memoir, Naked, he describes his experiences with his family, abnormalities in his home life, with several differences, Gogol in The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri encounters similar topics in his own life, including the dysfunctional relationships with the women in his life, however, both men struggle with

One of the first times Gogol has the opportunity to have observe how married adults act around each other is with his girlfriend, Maxine, parents. This opportunity to observe an American married couple that were his parents’ age causes him to realize that in “all his life he has never witnessed a single moment of physical affection between his parents” (Lahiri 138), this causes him to see a difference in the cultures that he was raised and the culture of Maxine. Growing up, Gogol didn’t see any romantic physical contact between his parents, and he even advises Maxine against any public displays of affection when meeting his parents for the first time. This doesn’t mean that his parents didn’t love each other, they just didn’t display it in the same ways as other families might. Gogol saw the Indian culture of not being physical affectionate towards his partner in a relationship, but he also experienced the more American version, where its accepted as normal to be affection to one’s partner. This is another factor that influences his struggles with his identity, because he knowledges the differences of cultures, but he still feels stuck in the middle. Gogol continues to struggle with this concept of when and how to display physical affection towards his various

This struggle between two cultures is where his identity crisis stems from, which influences numerous other areas of his life, one of those areas being in his romantic relationships. Typically, Gogol allows himself to become completely absorbed into whoever he is dating at the time, which creates a dysfunctional relationship. Maxine is one the most obvious example of this, because of how quickly he becomes incorporated into her and her parents’ everyday life. This routine is then disrupted by the unexpected passing of his father. Maxine believes that it would be good for Gogol to get away after the funeral, but he responds with: “I don’t want to get away” (Lahiri 182). This was a turning point in his life, he no longer felt alienated in his own home. Gogol had been pushing his parents away and using Maxine and her family as a replacement for so long that he suddenly doesn’t want that anymore. Finally, he feels connected to his family in a way that he hadn’t in the past. Unfortunately, Maxine feels out of place at Gogol’s father’s funeral, which is one of the reasons that prompted her to ask him to go away with her. Gogol’s struggle with his identity doesn’t come to end following this revelation, but he does find a better balance between American and Indian