Grief In Henry David Thoreau's The Goldfinch

Grief is a natural part of life as it is a natural response to the loss of a loved one. While it may take from as short as a few weeks to as long as several years, recovery from any sort of loss is a personal process that varies widely between individuals (Lane). According to Sidney Zisook, a researcher from UC San Diego, there are four major components of grief. Depending on the person’s experience and circumstances, the symptoms appear as separation distress (which includes feelings of sadness, anxiety, helplessness, anger, shame, yearning, loneliness, etc.), traumatic distress (which includes states of disbelief and shock), social withdrawal, and guilt, remorse, and regrets. Research is starting to reveal that there is a natural and instinctive

Throughout the book, Theo’s grief causes him to make extreme choices that greatly affected his relationships, both old and new. His traumatic distress appears several times in the beginning of the book when he is still in shock and cannot accept his reality, as portrayed by his internal monologue. Theo’s state of disbelief, along with buried feelings of sadness and helplessness, is essentially the cause of his social withdrawal from everyone around him at the beginning of the novel. Later in the novel, on the other hand, as Theo partially blames his father for his mother’s death, he willingly pushes him away. The anger and blame that arose from his grief develops an even colder relationship with his father. Tartt demonstrates how grief can prompt social withdrawal and cause a relationship to become painful, tense, or even nonexistent. However, Theo also meets and becomes closer to a number of other characters throughout The Goldfinch as a result of his grief. The fear of forgetting his mother is one of the factors that essentially propel him into close relationships. He tries to find any sort of connection to his mother wherever he can. With no parental guardian in his life, Theo’s desperation and deep longing for one is ultimately what brings him closer to Hobie. As Theo does not want to move on without his mother, Hobie becomes a father figure to

Generally speaking, grief causes emotional pain that essentially harms social interactions with others. Grief can isolate people from loved ones and society in general, and can negatively impact already existing relationships. However, in spite of all of its negative aspects, grief develops not only one’s self, but also one’s relationships with other people, whether or not the relationships are genuine. Grief also presents a desire for new or stronger relationships as an emotional outlet. Venting out emotional pain may develop deeper bonds, like that of Boris and Theo. Although it may be perceived as a negative part of life, grief can help people learn to accept reality and move on with life while still retaining relationships and even changing them for the better. In fact, studies show that for a child, the death of a parent leads to increased maturity, better coping skills, and improved communication, despite a negative outcome of long-term psychological harm. Adolescents who have experienced such a close loss tend to value other people more than prior to the loss. Early parental death is complex in nature with regards to its impact on relationships later in adulthood. In other words, understanding the social impact of grief is not something simple that can be understood with just research. Researchers at the University of Liverpool are exploring