Harlan Coben's Essay 'The Undercover Parent'

The Ninjas A teenager’s worst fear. Here you are: A teenage girl “innocently” hanging out with her boyfriend. Suddenly, out of nowhere you hear a thud not far behind you. You turn around and your boyfriend holds you tighter. You see a black lump under a tree. A ninja. That’s what parents are becoming. Harlan Coben’s article “The Undercover Parent” warns parents that the internet is a dangerous place for their children and even teens. I disagree that parents should use spyware, unless their teen is untrustworthy. The use of spyware eliminates the bond of trust between parents and children. Spyware doesn’t even work on emails or text messages. Then what are you supposed to do? When parents use spyware it takes the contract of a trust bond and sets fire to it. Once the ashes of it blow away in the wind, it’s difficult to repair it. As the wise will state, “you should simply trust your child…” (Coben 1). Trusting your child makes him/her trust you and that is an important part of the bond between parents and children. Kids need trusted adults they can talk too if they’re having an issue at school or something. During a class debate a student stated an excellent point that “If you tell your kid about using spyware on them you lose your their trust. It’s like saying, ‘I don’t trust you’” (February 18,

But, what about threats that lurk in their inbox? Maybe even their outbox! Yes, your child could be sending out sinister messages. Spyware doesn’t messages or even emails. However, emailing and texting your friends doesn’t “offer the anonymity and danger of the Internet. They are usually one on one with someone you know” (Coben 2). If you do find out how to spy on your child’s inbox, you’re spying on their friend too. I don’t think their parents would appreciate that. It’s bad enough you are spying on your own child, but to spy on someone else’s child is just