In Time When Mother's Gone By Andrew Lam

Tradition is something that runs in just about everyone’s family, no matter how big or small. Grandparents and great-grandparents are constantly teaching the younger generations the traditional way of doing things. Younger generations can choose to live out the traditions of their elders or to break them and create their own. Andrew Lam’s “Who Will Light the Incense When Mother’s Gone” is a great example as to how the American way of doing things can become a clash when trying to keep up with old traditions. The rebellious and nonconformity choices of a son towards his mom’s way of doing things can bring conflict but also individualism. I’m going to discuss the nonconformity theme and how Lam brought forth this theme in this non-fiction short story.

Lam’s mother also suffers from dementia and is also growing frail. Because she doesn’t want to forget where she came from, she does her best to keep up old Vietnamese traditions. Lam states that his mother lights incense and prays to the dead as if she is still in Vietnam. Since Lam’s mother wanted to keep up as much Vietnamese tradition as possible, she wanted Lam to speak more Vietnamese in the house and less English. The distance that was constantly growing between Lam and his mother was really starting to hurt her. She emotionally complained to Lam’s dad saying “America made him self-centered, introspective”. She feels as if Lam has become too “Americanized” causing him to turn his back on his own