Interpersonal Coping Styles

Chapter seven of the text explores the types of interpersonal coping strategies and how they can be used in therapy to aid in the treatment process. Firstly, this model reveals the role that the client plays in “core conflict” which is the cause of most of the client’s life issues. Consequently, the core conflict come about as a result of the clients coping style due to repetitive interactions with the people in their lives. Moreover, the client learns these coping strategies and use them in their everyday life. Even though the clients think that these coping styles are needed, these coping styles are deemed ineffective in other relationships which cause the arousal of core conflict. Furthermore, as a result of these coping styles, current

Mostly, these coping styles originate from the client’s childhood and is related to how the client’s caregiver responded to their needs. When the needs of the client go unmet as a child, it forces them to formulate a coping style to adapt to their caregiver’s responses. As a result, the child’s true experience of the situation is ignored and disregarded.

Within the chapter, there is a breakdown of the different types of ineffective coping styles and how the therapist can use these coping styles to aid in treatment. The type of coping styles are based on Karen Horney’s theory of coping styles. Within this theory, there are 3 types of coping styles which include Moving Toward, Against and Away. The moving toward coping style can be defined as someone who copes by pleasing people and receiving approval which decreases the threat of rejection and criticism. In this coping style, the individual would try to accommodate individuals to avoid conflict and disagreement even if it means that they lose their voice or “sense of self”. Moving against coping style can be defined as taking control, being aggressive and being dominant in the relationships around them. As a result of their

I wish not to self-diagnose but I can relate to one of the coping styles which stood out to me. The coping style that I identify most with is the Moving Towards coping style. Consequently, upon introspection, I realize as a child that I always try to cater to both my parents and my siblings and even friends. I would always cook and clean and go out of my way to make my family happy. Even up until today, I try to accommodate them to the best of my abilities based on my current circumstances. However, this revealed to me some of the ineffective ways of communicating and dealing with conflict that resulted in core conflict. I often find myself being sensitive to criticism and rejection. On top of that, I realized how much people in my life controlled me which diminished my voice in quite a few situations. But I am finding myself to be frustrated with helping people now for some reason. I feel “burnt out” and tired of giving all of myself to someone else. But as a result of this chapter, I am realizing effective ways to deal with these feelings and how to address it. Currently, I am trying to investigate the affective constellation that is related to my coping style and childhood